The Middle-

By Amanda Turner, RYT200

The Middle - Connection to Yourself 

Avoiding connection with my body and mind was a quick fix. Anything seemed better than delving into my thoughts. Constant focus on a screen of any kind was my first resort, sleeping medication my next, and staying out all night my last with all sorts of odds and ends in between. When I did dare to connect with myself, I found my chest tight, my jaw clenched, and my guiding light dim. I had no idea how I would keep living this way. I wanted a change, but that truth brought along the feeling I used to crave.

What would my future look like?

It didn’t seem as exciting now. As a 28 year old wasn’t I supposed to already know that answer? Shouldn’t I be calm and settled into the normal life I would ride out for the rest of my days? I mean, no one liked their job, right? Maybe so, but as I looked around at the people surrounding me, colleagues that were now friends, I couldn’t tell if they were as unhappy as I was. I had to make a change if I wanted to return to my old self, to the time when I was the happiest. Again, I was met with the question. What would my future look like? And with no real answers, no efforts to look inward, to connect with myself, I had no answer. 

Then, the world was flipped upside down. Covid happened and my job as a teacher was forever changed. I was working from home. I had time to breathe. I had time to rest. I wasn’t surrounded by 30 people at any given moment. I began taking better care of my body and mind. I could sleep. I discovered yoga wasn’t just a form of exercise. It could be for your mind, body, soul. It was through yoga that I was able to calm my mind, connect to my body, and regain that feeling I hadn’t had in years. The same one I’d had growing up. And soon I didn’t fear being alone with my mind and I discovered a path ahead.